Being A Mess Is Exhausting

exhastion 450

     The above picture that I found on Pinterest pretty much sums up my week.  It has been a brutal week physically, emotionally, and mentally.  I am not sure if I am being to hard on myself or not, but I really accomplished nothing this week because I was so wiped out.  I can count the tasks that I barely passed muster on one hand.  I managed to call my doctor’s, remember to bathe, and remember to take my medications.  I attempted to grocery shop and I just came home with a bunch of mishmash ingredients that just don’t seem appealing to my palate in the least bit.

puppy

     That pup, above, with his head in his feed bowl.  That has been me for over a week now.  I just have no appetite, which is very unusual for me.  I’ve been more tired then ever.  I think it is from a mix of emotions, pain, and adjusting to medications.  (Am I the only one that has ever had a major surgery only to be second guessing everything ?)  Either way I woke up one afternoon from a nap only to find that I spilled my water I had on my nightstand and somehow I managed to spill my half eaten bowl of applesauce at the head of my bed on the side I don’t sleep on.  I know what I have been eating has been pretty bland in order to balance out the nausea, but I don’t remember taking applesauce with me to bed.  I never eat in bed.  I don’t have a television in the bedroom either because (you know) I am giving all that healthy living stuff a whirl.  The only upside of not having an appetite or energy to eat is that I have lost eight pound in barely two weeks.

     It is not helping that I feel like a complete failure for getting so little accomplished over the last week or so.  I thought that I could at least get two blog posts posted, but that never happened beyond brief rough drafts.  I still have an email to reply to and a couple letters to write.  (Maybe I just hate non-form writing.)  I never pressured my doctor’s to call me back even though when I called them on Monday I made it pretty clear to their staff I needed return calls and appointments scheduled.  I am not sure if that is me giving up, having a lack of energy, or just not wanting to bother the doctors repeatedly.  (I really don’t want to be labelled as one of those hypochondriac patients.  Although, maybe I already am considering I spelled hypochondriac right on the very first try.)

  I wish I could see a bright side to all fo this right now, but my gut is telling me next week is going to be a rough one.  I have to remember to keep my emotions in check.  It is times like these that is really sucks to be alone.  Oh, well.  I will trudge on through.

kitten 450

     Now, I am off to curl up in bed and see if I can finish watching Hocus Pocus for the first time.  I have been trying since Halloween afternoon, but I keep taking “cat naps” while it is playing.

     I’ve linked this post with the lovely Kate from ReloKate for her awesome Daily Diaries link up.

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4 thoughts on “Being A Mess Is Exhausting

    • I hope you feel better soon. Are you struggling with your asthma ? I just don’t know how “assertive” to be with the doctors. I made it clear on a scale of 1 to 10 my headaches were a 15 at times and in the location of the stent. The office said they would will follow up with me soon, it’s probably not the stent, and try not to stress – emotions are a culprit for you. So frustrating. I am amazed at your ability to keep your blog updated when you are not feeling well.

    • Last week was definitely rough and it doesn’t look like this week is shaping up to be any different. I just woke up after twelve hours of sleep and I’m now sipping gatorade. I hope things improve soon or at least communication with my doctors improves. Thanks for the well wishes.

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